“Ten days free of any time constraints and duties.
Ten days in which I enjoyed my time and myself, finding an inner peace and, more importantly, the desire to live all that surrounds me. I wrote it a while ago: the work emptied me, erased my emotions, mede me stressed and nervous for all the same kind of days, passed by without “feeling”, without living: days, months and years chasing and waiting for something, just for the safety to put away some money waiting to live in the future.
To do not live today to live, perhaps, tomorrow?
No, I think we deserve something more, I think life is too short to spoil it and let it flow away … “
Exactly seven years ago I wrote this, FB reminded me this morning.
Seven years ago I had just been fired, to tell the truth I chose to be fired because tired of those “games of power” that wanted me to be an accomplice; and because I was tired of existing instead of living. And there is a big difference.
I spent the months after the dismissal living in a dream, resuming my life, doing what I loved, exploring the fantastic Swedish nature, starting to follow my passion for photography, and writing (it was then, in fact, that I opened this blog ).
Then, however, there was the real life to face, there was the need to have to try again to follow the common path, to find a job, to be like the others: the money was missing and it was necessary to find “a” job.
In March FB always reminded me that after my first day of work, on March 13th 2013, I wrote:
“First day of work: great!”
I did it again! Once again I made the mistake of not listening to my inner voice which had already shown me the path I should have followed because, in that almost year of inactivity, I had lived a dream from which I had to wake up for the, obvious, economical reasons.
And so, driven only by the need to find the money to “survive” I plunged back into the market, taking the first chance and trying to convince myself that I liked it, that it made me happy. And for a while I also felt that way, I almost felt satisfied: the new environment and job, learning new things, starting to make good money again and, therefore, being able to afford some whim. But then?
Then the inevitable happened: the news had ended up turning into routine, the work was stressful and boring at the same time and, above all, unfulfilling. Because it wasn’t what I wanted, I wasn’t what I loved: I simply wasn’t doing what made me happy…
But time passed by quickly and I had become a 40 year old man dissatisfied and repressed, by that time resigned to living a life in which I should have tried to resist, to exist, completely forgetting to live.
And there is still a big difference between the three things…
But then, when I lost not only the desire to live but also the strength to resist, I found the strength and courage necessary to truly change my life.
It takes courage to do it, one has to have the guts to do something that goes against the common life, outside the common road. It takes, perhaps, also luck in knowing how to wait for the right moment and in getting there without getting lost, without having shut down every possibility to change.
There is no an exact time, it is never too early or too late to change life: everyone must make its own journey and experience, lose its own battles and heal its wounds because it is precisely these defeats and these signs which will make one find, finally, the courage to overcome fear and change.
And so I bless my past, I bless and thank for all the the time I’ve been beaten up from my life and for all the humiliations I had to take if, then, they led me to decide to pursue my dreams.
Because life can be changed!
And if we can just believe more in ourselves, if we can only convince ourselves that we have much more strength and infinite resources within us to face anything, then we can really change. And for the better.
Believe me: something wonderful awaits us, not on the common way, but on our path, the path traced and made for us only…
So, let’s find the courage, let’s win our fears and let’s change our lives!